
Bleungberg’s hated the Labour Party ever since they squandered billions of taxpayers’ money on building the Millennium Dome. But, we hate the Tories equally.
With the lobbying-for-cash scandal fresh in mind, here’s a list of all the MPs that Bleungberg absolutely loathes…
Labour:
1) Stephen Byers - never have liked him ever since he fucked up our railways, and is now proved to be a crook of the higest order.
2) Patricia Hewitt - condescending, ineffective former Health Secretary. Now exposed as a greedy crook.
3) Hazel Blears - a diminuative cunt.
4) Keith Vaz - a sychophantic, cheating crook just one level below Byers in terms of slipperiness.
5) Ed Balls - a rotund, horrible bullying piece of man trash. And they say he could be Gordon Brown’s successor?!
6) Harry Cohen - nasty, nasty piece of work with a terrible lisp.
7) Peter Hain - perma-tanned lying liar. It was cringeworthy to see him taking the moral highground on racism and Mugabe when he’s anything but a saint.
8 ) Ruth Kelly - a super baby machine who hates gays and anybody non-Opus Dei.
9 ) Margaret Beckett - weak, weak, weak.
Nasty Tories:
10) David Cameron - Bullingdon-clubbing, smug, upper-class, hypocritical, former marketing millionaire, most famous for being there when Black Wednesday happened. He’ll say anything to anyone in order to win their vote. Never answered questions about his drugs past.
11) George Osborne - Indecisive, dithering, smug, prostitute-hugging piece of shit. Oh, and Bullingdon Club member, too. Never had a hard day’s work in life.
12) Oliver Lewtin - used to drive back to Cornwall from London on three hours’ sleep, thus endangering other motorists’ lives.
13) Liam Fox - if Neo-cons exist in the UK, Dr Fox would be its chairman. Bonus points though for his hatred for Cameron and repeated attempts to destablise the shadow cabinet at every turn.
14) Eric Pickles (above) - the concept of getting up at 6am to catch a train to go to work is beyond him, apparently. “Of course I need to stay in a hotel when I have an early start!”. He’s also got a chin the size of his left testicle. A rotund beast.
15) Douglas Martin Hogg, 3rd Viscount Hailsham - Moat-cleaning moron.
16) Sir Nicholas Winterton - failed to apologise for grabbing a woman’s bottom and said it’s to do with him being a man who can’t help it. Or something similarly lame. Whatever. Also, compared any second-class travellers as “totally different type of people” who don’t have important jobs and therefore don’t need a table to do work…unlike him who demands travelling in first-class.
17) Francis Maude - a hypocrite who promoted a ‘family-friendly’ image whilst being the chairman of the Mission Marketing Group which has advertised for Playboy. Also, non-executive chairman of the Jubilee Trust, which held 21% of American pornographic actress Jill Kelly’s adult DVD business.
18) Anthony Steen - voters dislike him because they are “jealous” of the size of his house which, he says, looks like “Balmoral”. Twat.
Wishy-washy Lib Dems:
19) Jo Swinson - ambitious, irritating, far too young, and generally an interfering busybosy with a very long and ugly face.
20) Sarah Teather - With a face like a satellite-dish, and a body as wide as the Niagara Falls. Once overheard saying how much she needed a shag. A disgusting individual on ‘Question Time’.
Not quite qualified but pretty repugnant - Boris Johnson, Ken Livingston, Tony Blair
And the ones we like…
David Laws (Lib Dem)
Ken Clarke (Conservative)
Dominic Grieve (Conservative)
Lord Adonis (not an MP but a good guy, nonetheless)
Ed Milliband (growing on Bleungberg)
Michael Gove (Conservative)
