bleungberg.com

Let’s get this out of the way, Bleungberg has always - ALWAYS - loathed Tiger Woods - in much the same way that we hate Lewis Hamilton for being smug, arrogant. We liked him when he won the US Masters in 1997, and still had time for him by the time he clinched the 2000 Open at St Andrew’s.

But it went downhill pretty much afterwards, as he started to treat golf fans with disdain and became increasingly moody, arrogant and greedy towards tournament organisers and the PGA, which kowtowed to him at every turn.

Now that his serial philandering, sex-addiction and kinky bisexuality (“After i cum you better start sucking my cock to get it hard” etc.) have been exposed in the best ways possible, he has the temerity to ask his family and fans to forgive him, and cheer him on when he next plays golf! What a self-righteous bastard. Who the fuck does he think he is? God?!

And knowing what a sycophantic bunch of people these Americans are - golfing press, PGA, gallery of fans - no doubt they will all just bow to him and give him a rapturous reception.

His staged 15-minute apology to an invited audience was thoroughly disgusting.  Insincere, unforgiving, arrogant, and even with fake tears - it was Tiger Woods at his very, very worst. His manhug with mummy at the end of it was cringeworthy, and perfectly staged for the entire world to see.

By asking for a public forgiveness - in effect silencing any dissent from golf fans - Woods has plummed new depths as a sportsman, a person and a quasi-Buddhist.

Bleungberg’s hated the Labour Party ever since they squandered billions of taxpayers’ money on building the Millennium Dome. But, we hate the Tories equally.

With the lobbying-for-cash scandal fresh in mind, here’s a list of all the MPs that Bleungberg absolutely loathes…

Labour:

1) Stephen Byers - never have liked him ever since he fucked up our railways, and is now proved to be a crook of the higest order.

2) Patricia Hewitt - condescending, ineffective former Health Secretary. Now exposed as a greedy crook.

3) Hazel Blears - a diminuative cunt.

4) Keith Vaz - a sychophantic, cheating crook just one level below Byers in terms of slipperiness.

5) Ed Balls - a rotund, horrible bullying piece of man trash. And they say he could be Gordon Brown’s successor?!

6) Harry Cohen - nasty, nasty piece of work with a terrible lisp.

7) Peter Hain - perma-tanned lying liar. It was cringeworthy to see him taking the moral highground on racism and Mugabe when he’s anything but a saint.

8 ) Ruth Kelly - a super baby machine who hates gays and anybody non-Opus Dei.

9 ) Margaret Beckett - weak, weak, weak.

Nasty Tories:

10) David Cameron - Bullingdon-clubbing, smug, upper-class, hypocritical, former marketing millionaire, most famous for being there when Black Wednesday happened. He’ll say anything to anyone in order to win their vote. Never answered questions about his drugs past.

11) George Osborne - Indecisive, dithering, smug, prostitute-hugging piece of shit. Oh, and Bullingdon Club member, too. Never had a hard day’s work in life.

12) Oliver Lewtin - used to drive back to Cornwall from London on three hours’ sleep, thus endangering other motorists’ lives.

13) Liam Fox - if Neo-cons exist in the UK, Dr Fox would be its chairman. Bonus points though for his hatred for Cameron and repeated attempts to destablise the shadow cabinet at every turn.

14) Eric Pickles (above) - the concept of getting up at 6am to catch a train to go to work is beyond him, apparently. “Of course I need to stay in a hotel when I have an early start!”. He’s also got a chin the size of his left testicle.  A rotund beast.

15) Douglas Martin Hogg, 3rd Viscount Hailsham - Moat-cleaning moron.

16) Sir Nicholas Winterton - failed to apologise for grabbing a woman’s bottom and said it’s to do with him being a man who can’t help it. Or something similarly lame. Whatever. Also, compared any second-class travellers as “totally different type of people” who don’t have important jobs and therefore don’t need a table to do work…unlike him who demands travelling in first-class.

17) Francis Maude - a hypocrite who promoted a ‘family-friendly’ image whilst being the chairman of the Mission Marketing Group which has advertised for Playboy. Also, non-executive chairman of the Jubilee Trust, which held 21% of American pornographic actress Jill Kelly’s adult DVD business.

18) Anthony Steen - voters dislike him because they are “jealous” of the size of his house which, he says, looks like “Balmoral”. Twat.

Wishy-washy Lib Dems:

19) Jo Swinson - ambitious, irritating, far too young, and generally an interfering busybosy with a very long and ugly face.

20) Sarah Teather - With a face like a satellite-dish, and a body as wide as the Niagara Falls. Once overheard saying how much she needed a shag. A disgusting individual on ‘Question Time’.

Not quite qualified but pretty repugnant - Boris Johnson, Ken Livingston, Tony Blair

And the ones we like…

David Laws (Lib Dem)

Ken Clarke (Conservative)

Dominic Grieve (Conservative)

Lord Adonis (not an MP but a good guy, nonetheless)

Ed Milliband (growing on Bleungberg)

Michael Gove (Conservative)

England coach Fabio Capello limped into London to sack that philandering, roast-spitting, racist, nightclub-urinating, bottle-throwing, money-loving super-cunt John Terry as England captain, and replaced him with the dim-witted and unintelligent, equally-philandering, drug-cheating, prank-calling, orgy-loving sex tape threesome star and well-known sword-crosser Rio Ferdinand.

What’s wrong with Steven Gerrard?! He got acquitted of affray last year!

If England fails to win the World Cup, the number of people they can now blame is endless, starting with Capello, then JT, then Rio, then Vanessa Perroncel, Eidur Gudjohnsen etc etc etc…

Two wealthy power-hungry presidents, with a combined age of nearly over 150, both with a penchant for hair-dye/plugs and cosmetic surgeries, controlling newspapers, television, using football as a diplomatic tool, are the best of chums, and are probably most upset that they are separated by the Mediterranean.

So, which one do you hate more?

Hosni, or Silvy?

In the least appetising election since the great French farce of 2002, when le worm Jacques Chirac faced off and won against the racist Jean-Marie Le Pen in the presidential race, we now have the sickly ultra-corrupt incumbent Harmid Karzai going up against the equally ultra-corrupt Abdullah Abdullah in the second round of the Afghan version.

Quite how the UN and rest of the international community can accept both these men’s candidacies is beyond Bleungberg.

Everyone knows how fucking useless and corrupt Karzai has been as president so he should’ve been barred from running again at the outset. It’s as if the international community is endoring his SEVEN years of FAILURE!

Abdullash x2, on the other hand, is somehow portrayed as the ‘clean’ candidate, when his own record in government is shady at best, whilst his henchmen have been conducting cash-for-votes with tribal leaders during the first round - often surpassing Karzai’s own corrupt practice.

With men like these, Afghanistan is and will be fucked for decades to come. Pakistan will then be fucked, and the whole world will suffer as a consequence.

Once again, well done UN(!). Fucking twat of an organisation.

And President Obama - you can start writing your LBJ-esq speech now for August 2011!

Nose-picking Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is world-famous for being a Holocaust denier.

But is he really? Or is he doing it for publicity?

Bleungberg reckons it’s the latter.

When asked whether the Holocaust took place, he doesn’t actually give an answer. Instead, he yaps on about the Zionists and how they ’stole’ the land from the Palestinians.

He never gives a yes or no answer to that question, and would say anything to avoid answering the question.

He doesn’t even go into great details about the Holocaust, and merely says it is a European conspiracy - BECAUSE HE KNOWS THE HOLOCAUST TOOK PLACE AND THAT HE IS LYING FOR THE SAKE OF LYING IN ORDER TO WHIP UP ANTI-ZIONIST SENTIMENTS FROM HIS OWN FADING FAN BASE.

So, there. He’s not actually a Holocaust denier - but a Holocaust denier AS and WHEN it suits him - preferably on national TV, and at the U.N.

Nose-picking, hypocritical Persian cunt.

Having ‘ruined’ seven women’s lives, and having packed someone off to jail for eight months, and then vowed to stay away from the ‘entertainment industry’, sex-photo celeb Edison Chen returned to Hong Kong this past week to ’sort out some business’ on his now-penniless father’s behalf.

Some people love attention so much that they just cannot stay out of the limelight.
This is the same person who cost Hong Kong’s taxpayers thousands of dollars by refusing to stand trial in former British colony for fear of reprisals, only to touch down at HKG International Airport on a scheduled flight minus his bodyguards and in full glare of the media!

This piece of shit clearly needs a slap in the face and his cocky attitude will not sit well with the triads who were calling for his head just over a year ago.

In addition to this high-profile return, he also gave an interview to CNN’s ‘Talk Asia’ (see below), as well as having a photo shoot with a Chinese magazine - semi-nude, and - despicably - with ’scars’ drawn on his back to highlight his miserable ‘plight’ over the past 18 months - all part of a campaign to rehabilitate his battered image.

Good grief. Some people really never learn, do they?!

Bleungberg is currently very angry and mightily annoyed at middle England, at old people and the majority of the 18000+ people who have complained about the Russell Brand-Jonathan Ross prank call to Manuel and his satanic slut granddaughter.

Bleungberg is not condoning the two presenters’ unfunny prank to Andrew Sachs on Radio 2 (Radio 2!!!), and likewise their remarks about ‘consensually fucking Sachs’s granddaughter with a condom’ which was very tasteless.

However, only TWO (2) of people complained at the time of the broadcast, on free-to-air national radio - TEN DAYS AGO on 18th October!!!

It took the Mail on Sunday and its sister paper The Daily Mail - the bastion of middle England and BBC basher-in-chief - a full week and a bit to lay into this. Presumably, they’d been tipped off about it by someone who’d belatedly listened to the broadcast and thought, ‘here’s our chance to seek revenge on the socialist broadcaster’!!

It was only after the Mail On Sunday’s front-page splash on October 26th (!!!!!!!!) that the whole affair snowballed into this massive row fuelled by condemnations by politicians and the subsequent suspensions of the two presenters.

By the Monday after the publication of the story, a few thousand people had complained - undoubtedly on the back of the Mail’s lead. That soon became 18000 as more media outlets repeated the obscene broadcast, with the clip on youtube generating over 300 000 hits.

You only need half a brain to work out that 95% of the complainants took action MUCH MUCH LATER and ONLY AFTER reading about the story or seeing it on the internet. In other words, their complaints are based entirely upon secondary sources, causing an embarrassing delay in middle England foaming at the mouth.

How many of these morons had even heard the broadcast or read the transcript in full? How many of them genuinely cares or were genuinely offended?

There’s a sense of deja-vu about the Satanic Slutgate. The most comparable situation was the 50 000 people who ‘complained’ about the broadcast of ‘Jerry Springer - The Opera’ on BBC2 almost four years ago.

The broadcast itself drew over 8000 complaints (a fair amount), which was swelled to 50 000 when crazy religious groups took action and mass-harrassed the BBC switchboard.

Fast forward to 2008, and we have a similar situation with the Daily Mail taking the place of the religious fundamentalists, driving a campaign in its bitter hatred towards an institution which it has long-regarded as a Labour-leaning, liberally-biased and financially-no-holds-barred BBC.

The Mail has, in part, got what it wants - the suspensions of the two presenters - but I doubt it would get the double-sacking which it craves so badly. Brand has resigned but the BBC cannot and will not let their prized-asset Ross go without a fight.

Yes, there was a serious breach of editorial judgement on the BBC’s part - and whoever cleared the clip for broadcast should be sacked. However, we must also take a step back and assess the situation in a rational way, and that is to say that the majority of the country was not in the least bit offended by the broadcast. Such ‘humour’ was to be expected from Brand and Ross, who both thrive on smuttiness and near-the-knuckle pranks.

But let’s not forget why they did it in the first place, and much of the blame lies squarely with Georgina Baillie, the 23-year-old Satanic Slut granddaughter in question.

This attention-seeking woman had auditioned for Page 3 - with her tits out - and is known to dress like a goth to accentuate her voluptuous figure. In our opinion, that makes her fair game to Brand and Ross.

Getting Andrew Sachs involved is, of course, wrong and incredibly foolish. But if you look it at from Ms Baillie’s perspective - her media profile was zero before Sunday, and is now on the front-page of every national newspaper, and it’s going to be quids in from now on for this young woman.

Her celebrity stock has easily risen twenty-fold in the last week, and she has already enlisted the help of PR guru Max Clifford to denouce the Radio 2 duo. which is always a good pointer in how to exploit the media in order to make more dosh.

How much is Clifford charging her, and how much did she make from the interview(s) with The Sun (two outfits, two locations, reiterating the same thing)? Does that make her more likely to land a job on a cable channel presenting in bondage gear or selling bird cages on QVC? Of course, it does.

By calling for Ross and Brand’s sackings and by portraying herself as an ‘innocent victim’, Ms Baillie’s already emerged as the outright winner from this whole saga.

But it won’t be long before the Daily Mail turns on her and rebrands her from ‘prank-call victim’ to ‘attention-seeking media satanic slut’.

As for Brand, Ross and Sachs - they’ll all survive. Pity the show’s producer and the output controller of Radio 2 instead!

The other slippery fuck to bite the bullet in recent days was, of course, everyone’s favourite, that randy fucker Senator John Edwards.

We told you ages ago that he was not to be trusted, and that his philadering would come back to haunt him - big time! - and it has.

Cheating scumbag - and behind his cancer-stricken wife’s back! Despicable human trash. We’ve nothing against his fucking around in Beverley Hills…we just hate the fact he denied it and brushed it under the carpet.

Well, at least it’s all over for him. His wife’s still dying, and we know he will feel guilty about this adulterous affair for as long as he lives. That’s a good enough torture for Bleungberg.

Mathematically, she has no chance of winning the Democratic nomination for the US presidency. Unless Obama is assassinated, Hillary must go now in order to preserve her dignity and the chances of her opponent against John McCain in the run-up to the November vote.

If she goes now, people might have more respect for her! It will also give her wrinkle-free forehead a rest.