bleungberg.com

This is Lance Bombardier Kerry Fletcher, currently suing the Ministry of Defence over unfair dismissal and sexual discrimination. We here at Bleungberg just like the look of her, and the woman she was also said to be fooling around with in one of the stables in the barrack.

Greetings from Gibraltar,

I say Gibraltar but I actually started typing this in the Spanish enclave of Ceuta in North Africa last night as I got stuck at the ferry terminal for six hours waiting to cross the Mediterranean/Straits of Gibraltar to port called Algercias in mainland Spain, and then onto the British colony of Gibraltar, also in mainland Spain. Confused? Gibraltar is technically part of Spain but the British grabbed hold of it 300 or so years ago so it’s a British colony; Ceuta is Spain’s but is actually in Morocco though the Spanish won’t give it back and the two countries could easily go to war over it one day if they feel like it. Yes, colonialism is still very much alive and well.

Anyway, I was stuck in Ceuta for the whole night due to the choppy sea – with plenty of people fainting whilst waiting as well as throwing up during the 60-minute crossing (the Spanish seem like a weak bunch). Ceuta looked beautiful but instead, I remained inside the terminal listening to Spaniards whistling sarcastically (their way of moaning) and singing folk songs (their way of killing time). Come to think of it, I’ve been extremely fortunate this past year in that I’ve rarely experienced any types of delay anywhere in the world. Apart from the odd security alert (London Gatwick) or bad weather (Central America and Iceland), virtually all my planes, trains, buses and boats left on schedule – an incredible feat given the current climates – political and meteorological. Nor have I fallen ill, got mugged or been injured – yet – or had any really bad experiences anywhere. This little hiccup more than made for it as I didn’t get to my hotel until 4.15am, and checked out just six hours later.

This trip to Morocco and Gibraltar is therefore my least successful venture to date in that I frequently went hungry, got fleeced, lost my patience, my temper and probably offended more people in three days that I did all year. Maybe Morocco and I just don’t mix. I liked the place – I managed to squeeze in Casablanca, the capital Rabat and the ancient city of Fes so I only caught a glimpse of this rather beautiful country. The hunger can be attributed to late-afternoon arrivals in cities, and my unwillingness to get stuffed at 4pm just before dinner. Meanwhile, I repeatedly fell for those who were after my money: taxi drivers, dodgy guides, unscrupulous children - even an old man sweeping leaves at a Jewish cemetery demanded maintenance fees from me. Honestly, I wouldn’t say I’m a ’stupid’ traveller, but I have no idea how I’ve come to get fleeced so easily this time. Maybe they’re just a clever bunch – I never fell for the Turks or the Nicaraguans - or, I’m just plain stupid. In a hurry to get to a place, I’ll say yes to anything. That means next time I go anywhere, I won’t try and be as ambitious as this time as three days in Morocco and then Gibraltar has been physically draining.

As for the offending part? Let’s just say I’m just getting the hang of visiting in religious countries. I committed several faux-pas in several Catholic countries this year – notably going into a church in a vest and was immediately told to cover-up. In Morocco, I don’t know what I did or said, but a lot of people told me off for simply taking pictures of their shops, or walking on the wrong side of the road. I also put my hand on a woman because she was in my way and this is a no-no. Plus they all seem to think I’m Japanese. The first day, I corrected them by saying I was Chinese; by the second day I said I was Thai or Mongolian until it nearly backfired when someone said some Thai to me; by the third day, I really didn’t give a damn – I thought, “who cares – if I can make the Japanese look bad, then so be it”.

Honestly though, I really have to brush up on the whole customs business. I’m off to Turkey again next March, and then onto the most hardcore of all Islamic countries – Iran (subject to visa approval). I got told off by a very stern royal guard on Sunday just for taking an innocent picture of King Hassan II’s palace in Fes (I kind of knew of the consequences but took a chance anyway). I am guessing pobably 60 lashings for a similar offence in Iran?

As for Gibraltar, - where you can see Morocco on the other side - it’s such an odd place. It reminds me of an area called Repulse Bay in Hong Kong – a massive hill in the middle, with high-rise buildings surrounding it. I may have to come back again next year so I’ll write more about it then.

In the meantime, that’s it, and I think that’s it for this year as well – no more flying or hotels – I just generally don’t sleep well in them.

End of November in Morocco - rain. In fact, tonnes of it, and not just pithy rain but torrential, thunderous downpours. Oh well, I waited years to come and it’s already a bit of a wash-out. Nevermind, a bit of rain never stops me from going anywhere and my goodness, have I been to load of places today!

Three cities to be precise - it started in London at 4am, at Heathrow in time for an earlier flight to Madrid which gave me a coupe of hours to test-drive the city’s metro system (verdict = good), and rounded off with a quick dash around the main sites in Casablanca, Morocco, just before the rain set in.

London was quiet and cold. Madrid was sunny and cold, whilst Casablanca is wet and cool. And as I sit in my hotel room - a brand new Ibis bang in the middle of the city - all I can see outside my window are cars and rain, as well as the train station which I have to go to in a bit to check on the train times for Rabat and Fes. But I’ve already been to the Hassan II Mosque and the Medina, and already got everything I needed. It’s been an interesting experience so far; in a way it kind of reminds of Central America where the rich and (very) poor live side by side. Plus I think people are actually quite mischievous here - they love asking me randomly whether I am Japanese or not. You have no idea how many times I’ve said ‘Chinois’ back today.

OK - need to cure my hunger now as I haven’t eaten properly all day - all slept since yesterday - so I’m actually rather exhausted. Off to Rabat and hopefully Fes tomorow. Let’s hope I can make it to Gibraltar by Sunday night.

Off to Morocco tomorrow - en route to Gibraltar. Never been to Africa before so new territories for bleungberg - should be fun.

It has been an outstanding week for sacking people. First to get the elbow was the chairman of the Revenue and Customs, Paul Gray. Now it was the turn of Steve McClaren and Tery Venables. For me, this week of perfect sackings would only be complete if we can get rid of that piece of shit, Sir Ian Blair, Commissioner for the Metropolitan Police and that fat cunt, Brian Barwick, FA Chief as well.

Critics have accused this gaffe-prone 54-year-old for being incompetent and vain. I always understood the incompetent part ever since he tried to deflect criticisms over the killing of Jean Charles de Menezes. The vain bit though, took a while to emerge and now I see they mean.

Last week, whilst defending his action (or inaction) into the murder, he appeared remorseless and arrogant before the media, denying he’d don anything wrong. The worst part though came when he mentioned the innocent Brazilian’s name. His vanity shone right through every time he pronounced Jean Charles de Menezes’s name and emphasises on the lispy ‘z’ in his surname. Oh, the vanity of the cunt!! Hearing Blair repeatedly say Mr de Menethes is so cringeworthy and revolting that he’s the one who deserves seven bullets in his head.

A s for Barwick. Well, he’s just uselss. How could he sack Steve McClaren live on TV at 10am and only phoned the latter to tell him about the news half an hour later?

Forget all these F1 and Premiership prima donnas - they’re just a whole bunch of weasles who wouldn’t dream of getting out of bed for less than the price of a house.

Contrast that with the pair of newly-crowned champion Flat jockeys, Jamie Spencer and Seb Sanders, who have worked their socks off all year in order to win a title which carries only prestige and no financial rewards.
Yet, neither gave in at any point during the long and arduous season which started way back in March and finishes in early November - as they battled across the UK, criss-crossing counties and motroways to ride in as many horse races as possible.
In the end, the title was settled and shared on the final day as they finished the season tie at 190 winners each - only the third time in two centuries that the title has been settled by a dead-heat. Had either finished second, it would have been the most unfair outcome as no one ever remembers the runner-up. For non-racing fans, to have joint-winners may not seem the most satisfactory way to decide a title - but in racing, it’s the ONLY sensible outcome. The way these men work, the miles they travel, the amount they have to sacrifice (family, health) and the risks they take day-in, day-out, they deserve to have our utmost respect.

Yet another reason to dislike Lewis Hamilton, I suppose…..

Lewis Hamilton’s finally admitted on ‘Parkinson’ that he’s moving to Switzerland to avoid paying tax. Thank Lewis, but why only ‘part of the reason’???

Come clean, Lewis. We don’t give a shit - honest!

150 days plus, and counting.

Forget Pakistan, forget Georgia, and forget about Iraq. The most pressing matter facing the European Union is the ever-increasing likelihood that Belgium - all 178 years of it - will disintegrate into two countries if the political impasse is not resolved any time soon. Flemish and Walloon-French speaking parties have been at loggerheads over regional funding, budget and the political boundaries of the capital, Brussels since the June elections.
Yes, they have a Prime Minister, Yves Leternme, and yes, they still have a constitution (just about). But the PM’s coalition is virtually non-existent, and the King and the nation are becoming frustrated. French-speaking politicians staged a mass walkout on Wednesday when the Flemish parties got their wish to split up Brussels’s electoral district - putting the French-speaking districts in a minority, as close to segregation as you can get along linguistic lines.

And with that, I am now officially worried. It’s rather touching to see that so many Belgians have hung the Belgian tricolore flag on their balconies and cars as a show of support to the national unity. But with such a complex and bitter political system, it may ultimately be left to the politicians to decide the fate of this wonderful nation.

General Pervez Musharraf - old, bumbling, hypocritical, ineffective as leader, magalomaniac, pro-Western, pro-military, pro-terrorists, loves his nuclear weapons, ineffective, undemocratic, autocratic, stocky.

Benazir Bhutto - slick, glamorous, middle-aged, corrupt, shady, dodgy, hypocritical, immensely wealthy, ineffective as leader, pro-Western, anti-terrorists, quasi-feminist.

And the West is supposed to rely upon the pair!!