bleungberg.com

Bleungberg’s favourite word for 2007 - HARVESTING.

Definition: rich footballers prowling Harvey Nichols and Selfridges for fit, impressionable and dumb totties for their rowdy and anything-goes sex parties. A harvest inevitably leads to a roasting. That’s five men fucking one of the women plucked from the harvest.

Don’t you love it?! Benazir Bhutto might have been killed by banging her head against the lever on the sun-roof of her motorcade, and not by the terrorist’s bullets!!

So, she’s not a martyr anymore - she was just too damn clumsy!! No wonder her supporters are disputing the government official’s claims…come on, getting killed by an innocuous lever is not the most heroic or dignifed way for a politician to bow out!

What happens if you want to become leader of your country, when the former leader of another country dies? Answer - you comment on it, condemn it, and offer your ‘heartfelt’ condolences.
Benazir Bhutto, identified by Bleungberg as one of most slippery and corrupt politicians in the world, was clinically assassinated today in Rawalpindi - shot, and then bombed - by Al Qaeda. Hours earlier, she had been applying more lip-sticks to her not-for-much-longer flawless face.

By my reckoning, only current and former leaders or those who knew her have a right to comment on such an event. It was therefore sickening for the likes of David Cameron, the Lib Dems, but most disgusting of all, all the perspective candidates in the US Presdiential elections lining up to condemn her murder.

I guess only Hillary Clinton and maybe Rudy Giuliani had ever met her and could therefore a personal perspective on the event. The rest, however, merely jumped on the bandwagon in order to boost their own standings and credibilities on foreign affairs - an important issue for the voters so close to the first caucus in Iowa next week.

Of the lot, John Edwards is easily the worst offender, and I’m going to dub him the ‘Bhutto-whore’ from now on, because he went as far as phoning Presdient Musharref up to offer his sympathies. Wow - political desperation at its very best!

But if you thought that was cringe-worthy, have a look at what the professionals are saying:

Russia’s President Putin:

“I hope the organisers of the crime will be found and that they get the punishment they deserve.

It is a challenge launched by the forces of terrorism against Pakistan, but also against the international community.”

Comforting words from someone who favours assassinating or eliminating political opponents!

How about Harmid Karzai, the Afghan President?:

“We in Afghanistan condemn this act of cowardice and immense brutality in the strongest possible terms. She sacrificed her life for the sake of Pakistan and for the sake of this region”

Interesting that he praises her martyrdom and her killers for being cowards; isn;t he too scared to go anywhere for fear of being assassinated?

Of course, no murder is complete without a Bush contribution…:

“The United States strongly condemns this cowardly act by murderous extremists who are trying to undermine Pakistan’s democracy. Those who committed this crime must be brought to justice”

Erm, Iran-contra, Nicaragua, Philippines, Chile, Guatemala, Panama, puppet-regimes, assassinations, poisoning, coup d’etats….

And just a word or two on Mrs Bhutto’s demise: whilst Bleungberg never liked her, we do admire her courage for standing up to her opponents, and her unwavering determination to campaign admist so much violence and numorous attempts on her life.

Pakistan’s fucked, and Afghanistan’s fucked also.

I heard the new Christmas Number One today - The X Factor’s Leon doing his best to better Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey’s version of ‘When You Believe’ - and I must say, thank goodness that other contestant, Rhydian, didn’t win.

I don’t think much about Leon’s version - but I know it’s way better than Rhydian’s operatic effort. Watching the latter overegging this middle-of-the-road power ballad was too much, and Leon’s version is surprisingly competent, if a little dull.

But, it is a worry that it’s been three years in a row now that the X Factor winners have monopolised the Christmas Number One spot. The songs are inevitably shit and dull, quality is always poor as they were rushed into production for the public consumption. The fact that they are always number one by a massive margin alo says a lot about the buying public - they’ll have any shit - shits that will end up in the bargain bin within 18 months.

We have a bland number one in the singles chart, and we have a very bland number one album as well (X Factor winner of last year, Leona Lewis). This country has lost lots way!

For the first time in my life, I flew into a country, and promptly left half a day later without staying overnight or even sticking around long enough for a poo. I’d done day trips to other countries before - by train, never plane. So to take airport check-in and delyas, it was a very long day for me which began at 5am, and didn’t get home until 1.30am the next morning. Curiously, I took the second train out of the depot in the morning, and just managed to catch the last train home. Twenty hours apart, I was one of the first passengers on the platform, but definitely the last to leave.

Flying Dublin doesn’t take long from London, and thankfully ot was only 55 minutes because I’d forgotten how ‘bare’ Ryanair is. The seats are so tight that it is impossible for me to get into the brace position. Aer Lingus on my way home was better, but was much-delayed. And since when have ‘proper’ airline started charging for tea? Maltesers I can understand but teas?

Anyway, Dublin was fun. Not been since 1999 and I forgot everything about it. There’s a swanky new tram system called the Luas which goes way out into the suburbs, as well as the Spire in the middle of O’Connell Street.

Other than that, it still remains quite expensive and busy. I did notice, however, that the place has a lot, lot more foreigners this time round. Apparently there are over 400 000 Poles and numerous Lithuanians, which means Polish food sections in supermarkets and on the street. It definitely felt more cosmopolitan as a city this time round.

Not a bad place to end a year’s travelling. The airport wasn’t so bad either!

From the BBC Sport website

‘Paralympic star Oscar Pistorius appears likely to fail in his bid to compete at next year’s Olympic Games in Beijing.
The 400 metre star has had scientific analysis of his prosthetic limbs to see if they give him an unfair advantage over able-bodied opponents.

Professor Peter Bruggemann observed the tests and told Die Welt newspaper the runner has a “considerable advantage”.’

Unfair advantage over able-bodied opponents? What about the advantage over his disabled opponents? This is an outrageous oversight.

I don’t watch the X Factor, and so I didn’t watch the programme live. But I saw the repeat after learning who had won and must say, some of the comments made by the Simon Cowell were truly outrageous. He called the red-hot favourite Rhydian ‘Leon’, the eventual winner. He also said after Rhydian’s final song that if ‘that was his last performance, then he’d done a great job’. A strange thing to say to the overwhelming favourite, I thought.

Now, I hear that viewers are complaining about phonelines being jammed when they tried to vote for Rhydian whilst no problem was reported for Leon.

I smell a rat.

The ‘B’ sample has been confirmed - Kieren Fallon has failed his drugs test.

What a shame, what a sad ending to the year for the Irishman. I am very disappointed in him, but I can understand why he did it. I just hope he can now go and sort himself out and come back in 2009 and show the public and his critics his truth worth.

….apparently.

Damn.

It’s about time we brought Bleungberg downmarket - and what better than some clevage, a digitally enhanced bulge, and a peacock-like blow-job mouth?