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Bleungberg is currently very angry and mightily annoyed at middle England, at old people and the majority of the 18000+ people who have complained about the Russell Brand-Jonathan Ross prank call to Manuel and his satanic slut granddaughter.

Bleungberg is not condoning the two presenters’ unfunny prank to Andrew Sachs on Radio 2 (Radio 2!!!), and likewise their remarks about ‘consensually fucking Sachs’s granddaughter with a condom’ which was very tasteless.

However, only TWO (2) of people complained at the time of the broadcast, on free-to-air national radio - TEN DAYS AGO on 18th October!!!

It took the Mail on Sunday and its sister paper The Daily Mail - the bastion of middle England and BBC basher-in-chief - a full week and a bit to lay into this. Presumably, they’d been tipped off about it by someone who’d belatedly listened to the broadcast and thought, ‘here’s our chance to seek revenge on the socialist broadcaster’!!

It was only after the Mail On Sunday’s front-page splash on October 26th (!!!!!!!!) that the whole affair snowballed into this massive row fuelled by condemnations by politicians and the subsequent suspensions of the two presenters.

By the Monday after the publication of the story, a few thousand people had complained - undoubtedly on the back of the Mail’s lead. That soon became 18000 as more media outlets repeated the obscene broadcast, with the clip on youtube generating over 300 000 hits.

You only need half a brain to work out that 95% of the complainants took action MUCH MUCH LATER and ONLY AFTER reading about the story or seeing it on the internet. In other words, their complaints are based entirely upon secondary sources, causing an embarrassing delay in middle England foaming at the mouth.

How many of these morons had even heard the broadcast or read the transcript in full? How many of them genuinely cares or were genuinely offended?

There’s a sense of deja-vu about the Satanic Slutgate. The most comparable situation was the 50 000 people who ‘complained’ about the broadcast of ‘Jerry Springer - The Opera’ on BBC2 almost four years ago.

The broadcast itself drew over 8000 complaints (a fair amount), which was swelled to 50 000 when crazy religious groups took action and mass-harrassed the BBC switchboard.

Fast forward to 2008, and we have a similar situation with the Daily Mail taking the place of the religious fundamentalists, driving a campaign in its bitter hatred towards an institution which it has long-regarded as a Labour-leaning, liberally-biased and financially-no-holds-barred BBC.

The Mail has, in part, got what it wants - the suspensions of the two presenters - but I doubt it would get the double-sacking which it craves so badly. Brand has resigned but the BBC cannot and will not let their prized-asset Ross go without a fight.

Yes, there was a serious breach of editorial judgement on the BBC’s part - and whoever cleared the clip for broadcast should be sacked. However, we must also take a step back and assess the situation in a rational way, and that is to say that the majority of the country was not in the least bit offended by the broadcast. Such ‘humour’ was to be expected from Brand and Ross, who both thrive on smuttiness and near-the-knuckle pranks.

But let’s not forget why they did it in the first place, and much of the blame lies squarely with Georgina Baillie, the 23-year-old Satanic Slut granddaughter in question.

This attention-seeking woman had auditioned for Page 3 - with her tits out - and is known to dress like a goth to accentuate her voluptuous figure. In our opinion, that makes her fair game to Brand and Ross.

Getting Andrew Sachs involved is, of course, wrong and incredibly foolish. But if you look it at from Ms Baillie’s perspective - her media profile was zero before Sunday, and is now on the front-page of every national newspaper, and it’s going to be quids in from now on for this young woman.

Her celebrity stock has easily risen twenty-fold in the last week, and she has already enlisted the help of PR guru Max Clifford to denouce the Radio 2 duo. which is always a good pointer in how to exploit the media in order to make more dosh.

How much is Clifford charging her, and how much did she make from the interview(s) with The Sun (two outfits, two locations, reiterating the same thing)? Does that make her more likely to land a job on a cable channel presenting in bondage gear or selling bird cages on QVC? Of course, it does.

By calling for Ross and Brand’s sackings and by portraying herself as an ‘innocent victim’, Ms Baillie’s already emerged as the outright winner from this whole saga.

But it won’t be long before the Daily Mail turns on her and rebrands her from ‘prank-call victim’ to ‘attention-seeking media satanic slut’.

As for Brand, Ross and Sachs - they’ll all survive. Pity the show’s producer and the output controller of Radio 2 instead!

Two glamorous forty-something women, both at the height of their careers as anchors of their respective country’s highest-rated national news bulletins, and yet, two contrasting outcomes with a suprise victor.

The ladies in question are the BBC’s Fiona Bruce (above) and TF1’s Laurence Ferrari - both of whom fully encapsulate beauty, elegance and coolness and have a combined audience of 25 million viewers between them in the UK and France.

Sadly for Ms Ferrari, it’s her English rival - the less-glamorous of the pair - who can’t seem to put a foot wrong at the moment.

Both women had been catapulted into fronting a couple of venerable television institutions to halt falling ratings: Bruce on ‘The Antiques Roadshow’ and Ferrari presenting TFI’s 20.00 Journal.

What seemed like big shoes to fill in the form of Michael Aspel turned out to be a bit of a doodle for Ms Bruce, who has added almost 4 millions viewers to the antiques programme in the space of two months, despite accusations of dumbing down.

By contrast, Ferrari’s 20.00 bulletin hasn’t halted the slide in ratings which began under Patrick Poivre d’Avour’s tenure and is shedding bucketloads of viewers to France 2’s rival bulletin. Apparently, French viewers are a conservative bunch and haven’t taken well to their glamorous new host as opposed to the wrinkly PPDA.

In order to counter this slide, her bosses have taken the unprecedented move in ordering the ultra-attractive Ferrari to look more frumpy and to cover her tits up, including changing her hairstyle and clothing to reflect the sombre tone of the newscast.

Probably the last thing she’d expect to hear when she signed the contract to succeed PPDA - ‘we want you to look like Ugly Betty’!

By hiring her back in the spring, TFI executives had already made the decision to choose beauty over gravitas. By ordering Ms Ferrari (below) to look ‘more professional’ is a self-admission that they’d got their priorities all wrong.

Looks like it’s one-nil to the Beeb in the great Anglo-French dumbing down contest!

Here are some of the highlights of the interview between Heather Mills and Paul Newman from April 2004 on CNNs ‘Larry King Live’.

(transcript courtesy of the Daily Mail)

HMM: Good evening. Hi. I’m Heather Mills McCartney, filling in for Larry King. It’s my great pleasure to welcome the multifaceted, rarely-interviewed Paul Newman. Hi, Paul. Thanks for being here. How come you’re such a philanthropist?

PN: Come on. Well, you start quickly, don’t you?

HMM: But you are. You’re kind. You’re generous. How come? PN: I have laryngitis, which is why I sound so…

HMM: So sexy? PN: No.

HMM: We’ll take a break now. We’ve only just scratched the surface. More with the ultimate giveback guy, Paul Newman, after this.

HMM: Most people know that, sadly, your son Scott died of, apparently, an alcohol and drug overdose. Did that inspire you to get involved in drugs awareness? Because I know you did a public service announcement to try and bring more awareness.

And do you think things have changed over the years? Or do you think it’s got worse in the drug situation?

PN: I - I’ve never been able to - to talk very sensibly about that. But …

HMM: Understandably.

PN: I don’t know whether it’s getting better or worse. I know it’s getting worse in Afghanistan.

HMM: I do a lot of work there.

PN: What?

HMM: I do a lot of work there. That’s the problem. You come in and you give freedom, but then all the poppy growers are back in Kuwait creating heroin again.

HMM: When people give you awards or offer you awards, do you ever sort of say, “Look, I’ve got enough”, and suggest anybody else? PN: Never occurred to me.

HMM: That’s what I do.

PN: You do?

HMM: I know it sounds terrible. Yes, when I get offered awards. It’s not when you become complacent, just when I got to 22, which is my favourite number, I said, you know, I know this girl, she’s a really unsung heroine, why don’t you give it to her? It would make her life…

PN: What a good idea.

HMM: That’s what you should start doing.

PN: Yes.

HMM: Say, “You know what? Give it to such-and-such”.

HMM: When you first saw Joanne (Newman’s wife), was it love at first sight?

PN: Oh boy. I’m uncomfortable talking about stuff like that.

HMM: But you definitely fell in love. You’ve been married 46 years. Can you not give us any tips on that? I’ve only been going two.

PN: No, I have no advice to give on that either.

HMM: No? Maybe I’ll ask you again after we take a break.

HMM: I know you never liked to be called a sex symbol or told how handsome you are but I can say it now you’re 79. Or do you still not accept that you’re a very handsome man? I think by now that you’re 79 and you’re still looking great, you should accept that.

PN: Oh, thank you.

Bleungberg’s severe dislike for former Beatle-wife/glamour model Heather Mills has been well-documented on these pages (alright then, just to repeat - she’s a piece of shit).

The recent passing of Hollywood legend Paul Newman has reminded Bleungberg of yet another (very valid) reason for hating the stupid bitch.

Newman, one of the greatest Americans of the last century, gave his last major TV interview to CNN a few years back on Larry King Live.

Like many, Bleungberg excitedly stayed up in London to watch the interview at 2am because we knew that Newman almost never gave interviews to the mainstream media, and to do so on prime time on CNN was a once-in-a-decade opportunity for the younger generation to learn more about the man and perhaps the golden days of Hollywood.

Unfortunately, the interviewer was not the venerable Larry King (frankly, it would be difficult to work out who would’ve been the older of the pair). Instead, we had that slimey bitch as a guest host, Heather Mills.

At the time, this cunt was trying to establish herself in America, and her stint on Larry King followed her appearance as a guest on the show during which she famously took off her prosthetic leg midshow and put it in front of King for the world to see.

Mills’s time in the chair was equally headline-grabbing - and all the wrong reasons. Her ‘interview’ with Paul Newman is best summed up as ‘a thoroughly disgusting and cringe-worthy hour of television’, with the money-loving bitch fawning over Newman at every opportunity - she probably heard about the size of his bank account - posing awkward questions like, “So, Paul, how do you look so good for someone your age”.

Mills’s sycophany wasn’t only off-putting to the audience, but made Newman feel incredibly uncomfortable. At times, it was as if she was doing phone sex - live. That, is unforgivable.

And so we were robbed of one final chance to listen to the great man, talking about his charity work and unrivalled career at length and in depth.

In the end, we got the length, but nothing to show. A wasted opportunity, and the blame lays squarely upon the shoulders of this rancid gold digger.

To decide for yourself, please refer to the next post for a partial transcript of the ‘interview’.

The milk powder scare in China - which has now quietly spread to France and has already killed four babies in China and worried millions more - has come as no surprise to Bleungberg.

For years, we have been aware of the slippery nature in which unscrupulous Chinese food producers run their businesses: from contaminated food cans to corruption, changing the sell-by-dates, cutting corners at the workplace - causing death - to deliberately putting the wrong meat into a tin to bolster its taste or volume. (Well, we say ‘meat’ but sometimes it’s just a mish-mash of things which look like meat…like soaked cardboard papers folded in half and slotted into BBQ pork buns)

The milk powder scandal has therefore not come as a huge shock to many - and thankfully, the damage has so far been limited. Nor has the rice scandal in Japan come as too great a shock considering that its roots can also be traced back to China. It is certain though, that these incidents won’t be the last of its kind to emerge from the superpower.

What has shocked Bleungberg is the dramatic rise in demand for wet-nurses in recent weeks. This therefore means that Chinese mothers are still reluctant to breast-feed, perferring to ask for ‘outside’ help.

Culturally in China, there is no set-rule against breast-feeding one’s child and indeed, such practise was the norm during before the 1970s - even during the Cultural Revolution.

But the rates declined dramatically thereafter as milk-powder became more widespread, with modern mothers becoming ever-more reliant upon milk-powder.

Pressure on modern life and cultural taboos - breastfeeding in public is almost unheard of in East Asia, and living spaces tend to be quite cramped - mean that rather than feeding their own children, they rely on artificial produce or to ask for wet-nurses!

Chinese people have a reputation for paniking quite easily - you should’ve seen the queue outside banks during the last month! - and watch their money carefully. Yet, with food prices on the rise, and breastfeeding being a safe and cheap alternative, many mothers are still demanding wet nurses. What a shame as the benefits of breastfeeding far outweight all other means and this laziness by mothers must be stopped at once.

A month has passed since Bleungberg highlighted the various achievements on the sporting front by the people of Luxembourg.

It actually got better for the national football team when they beat Switzerland away 2-1 in a World Cup qualifier - their first competitive victory in a WCQ since 1972!

But rumours began to circulate at around the same weekend that drugs test from cyclist Frank Schleck was not right, and it looks as though there could be more bad news coming out of the laboratories in the near future, implicating several high-profile cyclists.

How DOES tennis champ Serena Williams run around the court so effortlessly?

Then again, it would explain why she’s not so good on clay…

When slippery-Pakistani Benazir Bhutto was sensationally murdered in Rawalpindi last December, Bleungberg wondered whether Pakistan would do anything to commemorate this corrupt woman.

They did though it has to be said that the choice of the commemoration is a little too soon: the renaming of Islamabad International Airport on what would have been her 55th birthday in June 2008.

Considering that investigations into the couple’s finances are on-going in certain parts of the world, it is very inappropriate to commemorate her a mere six months after the assassination.

In Britain, these matters normally take years to come into fruition. However, Ms Bhutto was fast-tracked into having this honour, and with the blessing of her former foe, the equally-shady Pervez Musharraf, who effectively condoned Ms Bhutto’s corrupt past - and with a nod to his own predicament and perhaps even his own legacy?

Maybe he wanted his own airport terminal too in case someone assassinated him. Good job the people of Pakistan got rid of him before that happened. Nothing could be more ironic than to see anti-corruption investigators changing flights at Benazir Bhutto International Airport or arriving at Pervez Musharraf Terminal.