bleungberg.com

The news that Kadima has narrowly emerged victorious in the Israeli election augurs well for the year ahead, when election-junkies like Bleungberg can look forward to some outstanding action in places including India, Iran, Japan and South Africa.

Whether Kadima actually wins outright very much depends on how many setas they get in a coalition. Bleungberg would naturally prefer a government led by Kadima than the right-wing Likud party, whose leader Benjamin Netanyahu is a pretty revolting individual.

That said, it’s always been the Likud Party who’ve done more than any of their political rivals in almost bringing peace to the region. It’s just that they tend to get assassinated or struck down by a stroke soon afterwards. Bleungberg’s not holding out much with this lot in charge but either way, it should make for compulsive viewing.

Meanwhile, the build-up to the South African election has begun in earnest, with a date set for early April, which will be swiftly followed by India and Iran. Japan will go to the voting booths later this year and it’s going to be exciting to see how long that government lasts (nine months?). All four elections’ outcomes are hotly anticipated, with defeats a distinct possibility for every incumbent governments there. In the case of South Africa and Japan, voters could throw out long-serving parties - the ANC and the LDP respectively - and replace them with new governing parties.

Exciting times ahead.

Did you know there’s a Disneyland here in Hong Kong? If not, then you’re not alone.

In fact, so few people are even aware that such a theme park exists in South East Asia that it makes you wonder why on earth the company’s going ahead with extending the franchise into China by building one in Shanghai! Yes, that’s China! Communist China! A China which has already built a ‘fake’ Disneyland in the form of the Shijingshan Amusement Parkin Beijing!! (see picture above)

The Hong Kong version is struggling financially - they’ve given away so much that they’ve scrapped all concessions and promotions. The economic problems prevailing in much of SouthEast Asia couldn’t have helped, and with competitions from Tokyo and possibly, Shanghai, this region just ain’t big enough for three fucking Disneylands!

Back in 2007, when the FA greedily awarded the TV contract for England Internationals and a rejuvenated FA Cup to a half-assed ITV Sport and little nobody Setanta, we at Bleungberg warned that the FA had committed a gross error and had put money ahead of quality.

Two years on, with Setanta in serious financial troubles having lost much of its Premiership rights to Sky, and ITV seemingly doing its best to destroy the FA Cup, Bleungberg would just like to say one thing to that far cunt, now-ex FA Chairman, Brian Barwick: ‘We told you so!’

Just three more years to run for the contract….will either broadcaster even seeit through?

The Chinese Vice-President, Xi Jinping, whilst touring Mexico City yesterday, hit out at countries which had used every opportunity to criticise China and described them as ‘petty’ and ‘jealous’. The VPrez added that he was very proud of the fact that China’s been able to feed 1.3 billion mouths during these economic hard times.

Yes, if 1.3 billion mouths mean all the ones who aren’t starving, suffering or incacerated against their will then yes, all 1.3 billion people are stuffed!

Moron.

Continuous greetings from Hong Kong, having just returned from a week in Manila.

So, was it a ‘Thriller in Manila’? Absolutely not. It had always been the only city in the world which Bleungberg had never ever wanted to visit. When Bleungberg was growing up, Manila was constantly ravaged by military dictatorships, martial law, corruption, poverty, plane crashes and destructive typhoons. Nor were we fans of the thousands of Filipino maids who had settled in Hong Kong, and caused chaos on the streets on Sundays. But, work meant we had no choice but to ‘confront’ our fears by spending the whole of last week in this most peculiar of places. Overall, Manila is ugly, dirty, horribly polluted, dreadfully poor and rather boring. It’s also by far the cheapest place we’ve visited for a while, though not for accommodation. Most interesting of all was to see just how different it is to its neighbours in the region.

It is odd - if you think about it - why no one ever mentions the Philippines when they ‘go backpacking in Southeast Asia’ because on paper, it has a far more colourful history than, say, Thailand or Vietnam. Maybe because it’s separated from the rest of the continent, or that people don’t know a great deal about it. We are guessing that a lot of you would absolutely love the place - Bleungberg’s just not a fan of Southeast Asia. It’s the only Catholic country in Asia, and has been brutally occupied by the Spanish, Americans, British and Japanese. The Spanish/American legacies certainly make Manila feel more like Central America than Southeast Asia. In fact, we’d compare Manila to Panama City: the peoples look alike; they share the same religion; both had been occupied by the Spanish for centuries only to be replaced by the Americans in the 20th century. In addition, the divide between the rich and the poor is immense, with soaring skyscrapers and outrageously priced hotels in one district, and shit smelling slumps the next. We can’t begin to tell you just how hard it was to find a reasonably priced hotel in Manila - and we had the same problem in Panama City this time last year: third-world countries but Stockholm prices!

Like Panama City, Manila also has one of the worst transport systems that we’ve ever experienced: yes, it has a light-rail and underground system, lots of buses and jeepneys (smaller buses) that link the various suburbs, but the whole network is very poorly planned and interchange systems are virtually non-existent. Missed the stop and think you can just change platform at the next station? Forget it – you need to leave the station, probably cross a busy motorway, re-enter the station by climbing three flights of urine-soaked staircases, queue up again to buy another ticket, go through time-wasting security checks and see if you can squeeze yourself onto the next train when others are trying to get off. And you can forget using any of it if you are disabled. We suggested to some locals that Manila seems to be one of those cities which could really benefit from hosting an Olympic Games. They agreed, but added that much of the funds will simply disappear into the pockets of corrupt officials.

Another very peculiar aspect is that all the clocks and watches in Manila are 15-20 minutes fast. We don’t know why, and we didn’t want to ask. Although the people who live there are generally quite friendly, on the whole, however, those Pinoys are absolutely useless.  Even though they speak really good English – way better than those snooty Singaporeans – communicating with a Pinoy was deeply frustrating. Here’s an example of what happened when we were out shopping one evening:

Bleungberg: What time do you shut please?

Pinoy 1: Er, er, five.

Bleungberg: Five? PM?

(It was 6.30pm at the time)

Pinoy 1: Yes.

Bleungberg: What time does the shop close, please?

Pinoy 1: Five.

Bleungberg: (getting weary) Five? But it’s 6.30?

Pinoy 1: Yes.

Bleungberg: (I turned to his colleague) What time do you close, tonight?

Pinoy 2: (asks Pinoy 1 a question) 10pm.

Bleungberg: 10pm? Thank you.

It was also very common to get a ‘yes’ to questions like “How do I get to XXX?” or “how much is this?”. Infuriating. Also, we found the Pinoys to be quite lazy – another trait they share with the Central Americans. Shops and restaurants are often over-staffed, meaning an awful lot of underworked employees who, rather than serving customers, can be seen idling, having chit-chats or singing to themselves (sometimes on the karaoke machine). The same applies to the numerous security officials who guard the entrances to shopping centres, train stations and airports, whose half-assed efforts mean planting a bomb somewhere in Manila is a doodle. Think about it, what use are security checks for vehicles driving into the airport when they don’t even bother to look at the boot?!

Given the choice, we would never go there again. That’s not to say we wouldn’t recommend anyone else from going there – if you fancy somewhere ‘different’, exotic, hot, dirt-cheap, and like the idea of being propositioned by gays, women and transsexuals in shopping centres, then what are you waiting for?!